Author: Sarah Cross
Genre: YA, fairytale, romance
Publisher: Egmont, USA
Publication Date: 2013 (paperback)
Recipe Variables: Language, sensuality, under-age drinking
Series: God, I hope not
When Mirabelle runs away from her godmothers to Beau Rivage, the city where she was born, she hopes to discover answers about her parents’ tragic death. Instead, she finds a group of unusual teenagers, each with a fairy-tale curse. In this strange seaside city, scenarios from fairy tales are played out over and over, and Mira has her own part in the drama: she’s a “Somnolent,” doomed to prick her finger and fall into an enchanted sleep like Sleeping Beauty. The problem is she’s not interested in the charming (but slightly boring) “prince” who is fated to be her romantic counterpart. Mira is much more attracted to suave, handsome Felix, who bears a curse he can’t, or won’t, explain to her.
Ah, yes. It’s that time of year: the crisp smell of cider…the warm, creamy goodness of caramel…and the god-awful skank costumes that hang in plain sight at the store, most of which not only desecrate the images of candy perfection, but insult the progress of women’s equality.
Okay, so I’m a bit slow on posting this review, but I believe it is close enough on the time table that everyone will get my point. Kill Me Softly by Sarah Cross is one of the more exasperating tales I’ve read in quite some time. Once again, I saw the title pop up on my book feeds time and again as the next big thing. Trying to purchase a copy also became a trial, making me think, “Wow, this must be a great story. Can’t wait to get my hands on it.” If I would have known the rancid smorgasbord ahead of me, I definitely would have stayed home for dinner.
The main character, Mirabelle or Mira, begins the story as a seemingly innocent girl growing up with her godmothers. The scene literally mirrors that of Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, with the fairy godmothers making a birthday cake. Mira immediately scams her way out of the house and into a strange town where her parents supposedly died. Although Mira claims she was raised without “dangerous” objects, adhering to strict curfews, yet not resenting her guardians, she dives head-long into questionable behavior without a second thought of remorse or rebellion—she just does it. Her self-proclaimed best feature is her “nice butt.” By the end of chapter 5 she is sleeping with a guy…but just sleeping. Does that really happen? Huh. There must have been a helluva lot of hormonal downturn with the 15-25 age range since I was a kid.
The final straw, however, arrived in the form of a little red satin nighty…that she wore clubbing. And yes, she also wore matching whore heels. Mira would fit right in with the rest of the skanky costumes one finds at a frat party, all lacking creativity in the end game of I-just-want-to-get-laid. Do women really have to try that hard? This read belongs right there with the rest of the obscene costumes more evolved females must endure during the Halloween holidays…in the trash.